Random Football Musings Set to Music

by My Brother Woody

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credits

released August 15, 2014

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license

all rights reserved
Track Name: Bouncebackability
Manager laments availability
Constant tinkering, team lacks stability

Keepers a complete liability
Once known for his unflappability

Defence lacks reliability
No one taking responsibility

What we need is Bouncebackability

Bouncebackability (bounce back) ability
Bouncebackability

Midfield mired in predictability
No one playing to their capability

Front men scoring, an improbability
Losing, an inevitability

Fans calling for accountability
To win again, should be a possibility

What we need is Bouncebackability

Bouncebackability (bounce back) ability
Bouncebackability
Track Name: Panini Sticker Album Blues (1987)
5 packs please Mr. Shopkeeper
So many stickers but just one I needed
12 Ian Dawes and 15 Davy Langans
but still not even one Kenny Samson

Getting close to needing just the last 50
Can send away then, hope the post arrives swiftly
9 Ron Atkinsons and 8 Ronnie Whelans
but still not even one Peter Beardsley

I've gotten in too deep
This sticker book I must complete

Selling spares for extra money
Schoolyards filled with rumours of conspiracy
No ones ever seen a John Lukic
Collecting stickers is a bitch

Someone told me that 5 towns over
They're selling stickers, never seen here before
10 Cooper/McCoists and 7 Duffy/Forsyths
but still not even one McStay/Whyte
Track Name: Another Fuckin Weekend Ruined
Keep telling myself, its not over yet
3 points today, and other results could go our way

There no doubt, I'm an optimist
cos in 6 days and a bit, seems I've forgot, we're fuckin shit

Another Fuckin Weekend Ruined
I hate this team, we're forever doomed
Another Fuckin Weekend Ruined
and I'm in a filthy rotten mood
Another Weekend Ruined

Its the hope that really kills ya know
Its all so easy to predict
But I throw out all logic

Come 3 0 Clock again on Saturday
Dreaming of a rare win, I admit
But no, we're still fuckin shit

Overpaid players but I'm underwhelmed
They care nothing as the club debt swells
Just wanna see a little pride in the shirt
It should mean something, It should hurt
Track Name: 50p Head
Keep it on the ground
no more high balls in
with my 50p shaped head
you know how that's gonna end

Ball at my feet
I can do anything
Pass, move, shoot
Great goal, another win

But there's always one big problem...

Heptagonal shaped
attracting open mouth gapes
that same fans chant, fills me with dread
hes got a 50p, hes got a 50p head, 50p head

Any direction
The ball can go its a
Total lottery
Squirm as the crowd mocks me

Another aimless hoof
from our centre back
Screams, get yer head on it
Dunno to cry or laugh

but oooooohhhhhh here comes that chant again
Track Name: Literally
Literally, Literally - Balls can explode at your feet
Literally, Literally - You can play out of your skin
Literally, Literally - Might end up with no left foot
Literally, Literally - You could get turned inside out

Anything can happen during a football game
L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y

Literally, Literally - Could become non-existent
Literally, Literally - Spontaneously catch fire
Literally, Literally - Get hit by a kitchen sink
Literally, Literally - Could be put to the sword

Anything can happen during a football game
L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y

Literally, Literally - Park your bus on the pitch
Literally, Literally - The game can be put to bed
Literally, Literally - Crosses can arrive on a plate
Literally, Literally - In your youth, have been a greyhound

Anything can happen during a football game
L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y
L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y
L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y
Track Name: Stranded on Saturday
Trying to pretend I'm listening
Saying just enough to get by
A nod and a smile at just the right time

Cut off out here from everything
No TV or Internet to be found
Media blackout all around

Praying for a signal
C'mon Internet...Connect
There's very little time left

Saturday, Its 3 O Clock and I'm completely cut off
Someone tell me what's the score, Is that so much to ask for?
Maybe for a minute I could slip away?
Stranded on Saturday.

Somehow how I gotta get some info
Could find a TV in a shop window
Need an excuse fast, a reason to go
Track Name: Don't Read the Chatboxes beside Football Streams
Don't read the chatboxes beside football streams
Hit the X on the box, quick as you can, don't be tempted to have a quick scan.

Racists and Homophobes
Levels of idiocy, previously unknown

Even Youtube commenters
in comparison seem bright
Game after game
Just spewing the same ol (utter) shite

Don't read the chatboxes beside football streams
Track Name: We've Gone Quiet
We've Gone Quiet, They don't fancy it, Who wants it? Where Was The Shout? Get it out
Straight In, All Day, One of you! Who's man was that?, Get back!

Two On The Edge, It's Still 0-0, Ref! Ref! How long?, Their heads; Their heads have gone.

Vocabulary of a football team.

Down the line, Stand 'him up!, Don't dive in, Take him on!, You're on.
Time, Away, Put it in the mixer, Man on, Move it quicker.

Get rid!, Watch the short!, Heads have dropped , Penalty spot, Over the top

Vocabulary of a football team.

Get it on the floor! Turn and face, Launch it!, Back if ya need, Too easy

He's only got one foot! Box 'Em In!, Make it count, Don't let it bounce!

Vocabulary of a football team.
Track Name: Early Reducer
Little prick thinks he can do it all
Little shit, you're in for a fall

(Here comes) an early reducer, nowhere near the ball

Try that little flick just one more time
Put the ball through my legs again, you're gonna die

(Here comes) an early reducer, that's bullseye!

Il get inside your head
Il put you in Row Z
You're nothing but a showpony
Your reputation means nothing to me

So heed my warning...
or with an early reducer Il be flying in...

Sweet nothings breathing down your neck
Bite yer legs, this game, you'll never forget

Gaffers orders in
Put the reducer on him
You're not there for your ball skills

You're not there for your ball skills
One job to do, that's it
Track Name: The A-Z of Football
Advantage, Back-pass
Backheel, Booking
Centre circle, Chip
Clean sheet, Corner flag, Corner kick

Counter-attack, Cross, Curl
Crossbar, Dead ball
Diving, Dribbling
Drop ball, Dummy....football...the a-z of football

Equaliser, Extra time
False nine, Final whistle
Flat back four, Flick-on
Formation, Fourth official

Foul, Free kick,Fullback
Goalmouth Scramble,Ghost goal
Giant-killing, Goalkeeper,
Goal kick, Goal line...football...the a-z of football

Goalmouth, Goalpost
Golden goal, Half-time
Handbags, Hand-ball
Hand of God, Hat-trick

Header, High boot
Holding role, Howler
Injury time, Keepie-uppie
Kick and rush, Kick-off, ........football...the a-z of football

Linesman, Last man
Long ball, Magic sponge
Man of the match, Marking
Nutmeg, Mazy run

Obstruction, Offside
Offside trap, One-two
Open goal, Overlap
Own goal, Pass....football...the a-z of football

Penalty area, Penalty kick
Penalty shootout, Play to the whistle
Playmaker, Professional foul
Red card, Referee

Round the 'keeper, Route one
Scissor kick, Scorpion kick
Sending off, Set piece,
Shutout, Shoot....football...the a-z of football

Simulation, Side netting
Slide tackle, Spot-kick
Stepover, Stoppage time
Striker, Sudden death

Substitute, Suspension
Sweeper, Tackle,
Target man,Through-ball,
Throw-in, Tiki-taka...football...the a-z of football

Toe punt, Top corner,
Total Football, Two-footed,
Volley ,Wall, Winger,
Woodwork, Yellow card.....football...the a-z of football

Pass, Run, Shoot, Score YAAAAAA....the a-z of football